Write a loving note to yourself. After you do, read it aloud to yourself and see what you have to say to you.
Why You Should Write A Note To Yourself
We all have voices in our heads. These voices sometimes tell us that we are not good enough, not smart enough, not talented enough. They may tell us that there are hundred things we should worry about for tomorrow, and there are thousands of problems from our past we must fix.
These voices may tell us we’ve passed our “prime” or that we should just give up already. They may tell us that we tried our best, and that our best just isn’t good enough, and so why keep trying to work hard on the dream? They may tell us that our friends or co-workers or family members are so much better than us, so much happier than us, so much more valuable than us, so much more smarter than us, so much more talented than us–and that our lives are to be valued so much less by comparison.
These words (these mean voices in our head) often sound a lot like what our parents, or our church, or our society, or the government have been telling us since we were young.
Sometimes, their mean voices create a chaotic mess inside–in between our two little ears. It’s this on-going echo of their chatter, reverberating in the cave of our minds.
Sometimes, as much as we try, what they say gets to us. What they want gets to us. What they think about how we look, gets to us. What they would like us to believe gets to us. What they would like us to achieve gets to us. What they value–not what we value–gets to us.
Why are we so susceptible to what they say when they do not know what the world looks like from where we sit? Don’t we know better? Haven’t we lived this life? Haven’t we felt our feelings? Haven’t we learned and grown? Don’t we know better? Why do we need them inside our heads telling us what is wrong and what is right about us and what we’re trying to create?
Better to throw those voices out into gutter and nourish the other voices: the ones that soothe you, nourish you, wish you the best, applaud you, and encourage you. It is best to create a kinder, more considerate, chatterbox in between those two little ears–don’t you think?
Because even though those mean voices in your head may sound like your parents, or your church, or your friends, or your co-workers, or society, or the government–you should listen to those voices more closely, because if you do, you will suddenly remember that those mean voices, even though they sound like they belong to someone else, in fact, belong to you.
And if they belong to you, then you can change them. How about that?
You don’t have to resist and push away all those mean voices in your head. No, all you have to do is replace them with loving ones whenever those mean ones come up.
This is why you should write a note to yourself and then read it: first, so you can acknowledge that all those mean voices in you head, although they sound valid, are really not valid: you’ve adopted these voices from other people and claimed them as your own. And second: so you can change the swing of The Mind Pendulum from self-hate toward self-love. You can start shifting that nasty chorus of voices from negativity to positivity. From despair to faith. From defeat to victory.
So today, write a note to yourself.
Say it in your own way–don’t say it like anybody else. Use your OWN words. Use your OWN poetry. Tap into your OWN endless wisdom.
Because there is a higher part of you, no joke. There is a voice in the middle of that chatterbox that isn’t like the rest. That voice sounds quiet and soft and fearless. It never criticizes you or judges you. It only listens to you and then provides you with the most helpful advice anyone on this earth could ever give to you.
No advice is as helpful as your own. (And this is coming from a guy who spends a lot of his waking hours thinking about the best kind of advice he could give to others.)
So, you want my advice?
Listen to your own voice, not theirs. Listen to that higher part of you. That is your real voice. Listen to that voice. Listen to that loving part of you. It will guide you. It will tell you what to do. It knows you deeply and it has been there through every tragedy and every victory. It knows how long and hard you have worked and it knows where you’ve been cheated and also where you’ve been honored (and it can help you sort out the difference between the two, I promise you).
Sometimes, something as simple as validation is what we most hunger for. Sometimes we just want someone who knows us deeply, fully, and completely to say that what’s happening is happening and that it is happening to us and no one else–and that it is real.
Sometimes we want someone who knows who we are and knows who we are not, to remind us of who we are and who we are not.
Sometimes we get lost in the self-hate chatterbox. In the mean voices. In the echoes of our inner cave and sometimes we just want someone outside of us to go right in and still those voices and banish them all to the abyss.
You are that person.
You are the person who can do that for yourself.
You are that person who knows you deeply, fully, and completely. Listen to you. That higher part of you. That wiser part of you. That joyful and courageous part of you. Hear what she has to say. Hear her soothing loving words to you. Give her the opportunity to break through the mean chatter and reach you. Give her the opportunity to reflect back to you your own magnificence. Give her the opportunity to place her forefinger on your lips before you shout: “But–!”
Give her a chance to speak with you, to show you how much she knows you. To guide you. To heal you. To become the only one you hear in the cave.
much validated love,
Today’s Courage Exercise
Write a loving note to yourself that is compassionate, forgiving, understanding, empowering and validating. Leave absolutely no room for negativity of any kind. Let it all be positive and uplifting and true.
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