Oh boy, do I feel ya.
Lucky for you, I’m a master at turning crummy into fantastic.
So drop those Red Hot Cheetos dipped in Ben and Jerry’s Americone Ice Cream and get ready to get pumped up about life again!
(Oh, all right: you can keep eating your cheetos dipped in ice cream just use one hand please: don’t get your cheeto dust on my pretty little blog post.)
1. Learn How To Manage Being An Empath
Recently, I read Judith Orloff’s book, An Empath’s Survival Guide and let me tell you, it was a godsend.
I think that what I realized after reading that book was that the origin of my feelings of crumminess were not always coming from me but energy I was picking up from other people.
If you are like me, the sensitive healer type, I recommend you read her book and get to know the traits of an empath and how to manage it better.
You may find, like I did, that although you are different, you can still manage your sensitivity in a world that often feels cold and unfeeling.
The greatest thing I got from this book, however, was a feeling of validation.
It was a book written by a sensitive intuitive person for a sensitive intuitive person. And just that was such a relief and was so freeing for me.
If you believe you are picking up on other people’s negative feeling states, ask yourself: when I feel crummy, is it after I am out in public? After I meet or talk to other people? Does the crumminess feel foreign to me? Does the feeling of crumminess misalign or is incongruent with my present circumstances (for instance: you are feeling depressed when, just a moment ago, you got the job you always wanted)?
Your feelings should make sense to you, they should feel like home to you, and, also, they should be pretty consistent and shouldn’t fluctuate.
If you feel down but the feeling came out of nowhere, and it feels foreign to you and it doesn’t make any sense to you why you should feel this way–and you were just around other people–chances are you may be what Judith Orloff calls an empath: a highly sensitive person that absorbs, or feels, other people’s emotions.
(If you watch “Guardians of The Galaxy Vol.2,” the character Mantis offers a great explanation of what an empath is.)
There is no need to suffer anymore if you are an empath: all you need are the tools to handle your gift.
(Note: There is one thing that Judith says that I do disagree with though, and it is that she says that empaths are only a small group of people. I disagree: I think we are all empathic. Being empathic is our true nature. I just think that some of us are closer to realizing this truth than others, and some of us cope differently with this truth than others. I think that, on some level, we are all empaths and that becoming aware of this fact is something we all need to start working on in order to help heal ourselves and the whole.)
Other books by Judith I recommend are The Power of Surrender, Second Sight, Positive Energy, and Emotional Freedom.
2. Widen Your Scope
In Mastery by Robert Greene, the author explores various masters from all of human history to help us understand what makes those masters tick. He studies masters like Albert Einstein, Martha Graham, Mozart and Henry Ford to see how they became dominant experts in their field.
One surprising thing he found was that none of them were narrowminded in their pursuit of the solution to their problems and challenges. Every master searched outside of their “niche” and looked for answers in places outside of their expertise and comfort zone.
If you’re feeling crumby today, perhaps it’s time to leave your comfort zone and explore knowledge–or people or places–that are way outside of your niche.
For instance: I don’t like pure horror, but sometimes I watch horror movies or read horror to learn certain writing tropes or tricks that I could utilize in my own writing, which tends to be more children’s fantasy.
Widen your scope in life and in your creativity. Watch a TV show you normally wouldn’t watch because it’s not your style. Try a food that you never tried since childhood because you determined long ago you disliked it.
Read books by authors you don’t like.
We can all learn something from everybody. No one is here by accident. Every person, place or thing can teach us something.
Get out of your writing niche, get out of your social niche, get out of your quiche niche, and try a different quiche in a different niche. Try a delicious niche quiche.
(Wait: what was I saying? Oh that’s right…)
Widen your scope. Look for the solution to the problem in a place you think would never have the solution and has nothing to do with the problem.
You might find, as all the great masters did, that everything can inform everything else–because everything is more interconnected with everything else than it seems.
3. Shift Your Paradigm
In The Triumph of Seeds by Thor Hanson, the author, a biologist, goes into the exhaustive world of seeds and the profound influence they have on human society.
One amazing thing you’ll learn upon reading his book is realizing that the spices we use for meat and poultry, that make food delicious and savory for humans, were developed by plants only to ward off fungi that threatened to consume their seeds.
Spices are spicy because the plant was trying to copy a flaming sensation in order to ward off threatening fungi.
How fascinating is that?
You may have egotistically assumed, like I did, that plants made delicious spices so that we humans could enjoy our food–savor the smoky taste of paprika or that tangy flavor of turmeric.
As far as plants are concerned, humans are only delighting in sophisticated fungus repellent whenever we rave about the great taste of our chicken stir fry.
What a fundamental paradigm shift!
What I love about paradigm shifts is that it gets us out of the illusion of fundamental truth. There is no fundamental truth (other than that of unconditional love, in my opinion) what there are are millions of truths, but each truth offers us a different perspective–one piece of the God pie, as I like to say.
When we feel crummy, often it is because we are stuck focusing on our piece of the god pie: we think that the way we see the universe is the only way to see it.
But that’s just not true; and if we can offer ourselves a different way of looking at things, we can open ourselves to just how wonderful, odd, or silly our personal view can be.
Go out and imagine yourself viewing things from your sisters point of view, or an insects point of view, or the point of view of a person from history. You may come to find that your crummy issue exposes your quite extravagant and privileged life, or perhaps the exquisite human normalness of your situation, or perhaps the fairly insignificance of your problems in relation to others.
Paradigm shifts help shakes things up, getting us out of the rigidity and fundamentalism that often makes us feel crummy.
As Alan Watts used to say, in truth, the universe is “wiggly”: you can never find the ultimate truth of things–just different truths from different angles.
4. Try Aroma Therapy
Not too long ago, I connected with a woman who had a gift for mixing up her own essential oils for aroma therapy. I never understood aroma therapy and it’s probably because I never met anyone who was gifted at it and was deeply connected with the power of these natural scents.
If you find a good aroma therapist I highly recommend utilizing her gift to help you ground yourself, re-energize yourself and replenish yourself.
If you’re not connecting with the oils ,this has nothing to with you, it either has to do with the aroma therapist, or she’s not the right aromatherapist for you. Keep looking until the scents feel like an explosion of positive energy running through your body.
(Here is a link to the website of the woman I met, her name is Angie, and she makes really powerful oils for aromatherapy: http://angieswellnesscenter.com/)*
I know it is simple but sharing with others will make you feel so uplifted.
Share books you love, share ideas or thoughts that excite you and thrill you, share a story, share a favorite movie, TV show, quote, or podcast.
Share teachers, mentors, therapists, counselors and programs and tools that have helped you go from feeling crummy to feeling fantastic–don’t be selfish.
Ask others to share the things they love with you, too.
As you all know, I believe in something I call The Love Stream and I believe this universal energy of love can get stuck if we get out of the flow of it.
Sharing with others helps us get the flow back up and going again and it gets us back into focusing on what we love and discovering more of the things we love.
It gets us back to feeling excited and surprised by the wonder of life–and that’s what makes us feel fantastic again:
Today was my attempt at putting you back into The Love Stream: sharing with you what I am discovering about being an empath, what I’m finding as I widen my scope, what wonders I am opening up as I shift my personal paradigms, and, finally, what people are waking me up to new healing tools and new practices.
All this sharing makes me feel fantastic and I hope it makes you feel fantastic receiving it!!!
Now go clean the cheeto dust off my blog post and go get back to that journey of self-discovery.
Much fantastic love,
*Editors note: to my readers: this is not a corporate branding campaign, nor an affiliate business partnership, I genuinely love her oils and want to support this women’s small personal business –because I think she’s got a gift!!!