What is The Ego? (And How Do I Heal It?)

What is The Ego? (And How Do I Heal It?)

For over seven years on The C2C we’ve talked about The Ego, the little voice in your head that can’t seem to shut up about what a loser you are and how hopeless it all seems.

Over the years I’ve tried to explain what the ego was and how to handle it and I’m still trying to find new ways to explain it to folks: today I’d like to review the ego and talk about what we’ve learned about it over the years.

Let Go My Ego

So you go to a breakfast buffet every morning and you choose the burnt French toast and rotten eggs, and you do it every day for years and years and years and one day I come up to you and ask:

“Why do you keep choosing the burnt French toast? There are so many other options and the toast is burnt!”

And you say “oh ollin, but I AM the burnt French toast! My daddy was burnt French toast and my granddaddy and…”

And I say: “but that’s not who you are, burnt French toast is just a choice you keep making, look at the choice your making – look at the other options available to you and choose something you like better!”

“So I’m not my choice – I’m the person making the choice?”


Boom! Your ego dissolves and you become enlightened.

Most of us go through life believing we are the very choices of beliefs we have but we’re not, we are the awareness, or the soul, who is making the choice to believe something or do something.

Let me wrench the French toast from out of your hand today, and let’s keep those hands empty for a moment: don’t be alarmed, you are okay, you are now the emptiness, the nothingness, the one who makes the choice of what beliefs you will feed your mind.

Yes you lost your identity, you are no longer “burnt French toast”, but this was a false self, you now recognize you are the one making the choice of belief systems.

Your the emptiness, then no-thing, the soul from which everything arises and becomes manifest.

Now go look around the breakfast buffet of life today , which meal of thoughts do you prefer?

Now, you are no longer the limited burnt French toast, you are your true self, a being of great power and magnitude – YOU now get to choose who you are: see how powerful that just made you?

That’s enlightenment!!!

What Is The Ego?

Analogies such as the one above are helpful when talking about the ego since the mind finds it impossible to observe itself.

This is also why meditation is key in dissolving the ego. We must practice observing our thoughts and choices so we do not get attached to them as who or what we truly are.

Being your true self is important, too, as the ego often asks you to project a false self.

The ego is very much like The Crown in the TV Show “The Crown”: when Elizabeth becomes queen of England she discovers that she has to lose her true self in order to don a false self which will project wealth, perfection, tradition and power – but all those things are illusions, a show, a costume she puts on.

The illusion, or false self, is often referred to in the TV show as “the crown” as if it was its own entity. The crown has complete and total control over Elizabeth – she is unable to do anything that “the crown” does not permit her to do

Behind the scenes she’s miserable because she is robbed of her freedom, her individual personality and her courage to speak her mind. She’s in a prison, a prison created by the Crown – a false self that feeds her need to be adored and respected and to be seen as an authority but that zaps away at her sense of spiritual integrity and fulfillment.

In the show Elizabeth does not give up the Crown, it’s an unescapable destiny.

But we all can do what queen Elizabeth can’t do: we can give up the crown, the illusion of a perfect self, and learn to love and express our true nature. We can stop working so hard struggling to put on a show of something we are not, simply to please others or to give others a sense of comfort or stability.

The Crown isn’t real, it’s just a thing, an idea, a choice.

The ego is an idea that we have to be someone else in order to be a success or in order to be happy or in order to be loved.

No need to put on the facade anymore.

Give up the fake Crown of conventional appearance, so that you can claim the nobility of your true spiritual nature.

How Do We Heal The Ego?

The ego is like a block of ice made of fear. 

The more you bring in the suns rays, in other words, the more you love yourself the more this block of ice melts and reveals the true you: a being made of love, of sun.

But it is tempting to believe you are the block of ice because it is dense, solid, limited, and you can wrap your head around it. To lose the block of ice feels like you are losing your sense of self, but it is a false self, not truly you.

Some of you have moments when an event wrenches you wide open and the suns rays blast away the ice completely and suddenly you are awaken, but for most of us it’s a gradual chipping away of this false self until we uncover the true self.

Everytime you allow yourself to think loving thoughts about yourself, everytime you do a loving thing for yourself, that’s you chipping away at the block of fear, the ego.

The limitation, the doubt, the hatred, you chip it away with expansion, confidence and love.

The ice melts slowly and the awakening, or the true you, comes forward…

This is how you heal the ego: by feeding it love.

Watch Out For Ego Sabotage!!!

When we first met the ego on Courage 2 Create I referred to it as an “inner saboteur” keeping us from pursuing our dreams.

The more the sabetour was trying to stop us from pursuing our dreams, the more proof that he was about to be defeated and what we were doing to follow and manifest our dreams was working.

This is an excellent way to remember the ego: as the thing that tries to tell you you can’t when the only reason you can’t is because it’s convincing you that can’t.

On your healing journey, your ego will have many excuses: I don’t have the money, I don’t have the time, I’m not ready.

But if you are quiet for a moment you will recognize that none of these excuses make sense. 

What better investment could you ever make than the self-love that could lead to peace from your suffering? What better use of your time is there than nourishing and curing what ails you? And why on earth would you “not be ready” to find the origin of your pain and clear it out?

No. The ego isn’t as oblivious as it seems: it knows what healing means: its demise. It knows the moment you heal, truly heal, your sense of self or identity will dissolve and you will recognize yourself as part of the collective.

Is that terrifying to you? If it is, recognize it as the ego that’s afraid – not the soul, for nothing will bring you more bliss than the ego finally dissolving.

Pay close attention to any knee-jerk reaction to avoid healing. What a strange reflex, to push away love just as it’s coming to lift you and heal you, to deny you the birthright of god’s love.

You may think it’s logical but it’s not: love comes to make you whole again, but you’d rather remain fractured?

Always choose love, never fear, for the love will heal you, and there is no excuse good enough to deny that love from entering your heart – not busyness, not worthiness, not right timing, not anything.

Accept love now, it’s already here, wanting to heal you, invite it in. Why postpone, why limit, why deny?

It makes no sense, it only keeps you lost to believe your healing can’t or won’t be gotten NOW.

Much “bye, bye Ego”


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Categories: Writer's Journal