And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads
And breaking yourself up
If it’s a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm, then brace it
If it’s a broken heart, then face it
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way…”
– Jason Mraz
What falls will eventually rise. What rises must eventually take flight. What flies must one day learn to soar…
The star must turn supernova, then whittle down into a blackhole.
Fall must give way to winter, winter to spring and spring to summer.
Everything that begins must have an ending.
New horizons, new adventures and new characters await, and one must have the courage to end, as much as one has the courage to begin.
These are the last 6 months of Courage 2 Create.
There will be no leaks of spoilers because my life is unfolding at the same pace as me writing it.
I don’t even know the ending of this story, not yet…
Why You Should Always End Your Story
In a world of sequels and reboots and literal zombies–dead men coming back to life to rob the joy of the living–we tend to forget the beauty of a graceful exit.
We are creatures of new, far more than we are creatures of nostalgia.
The past may have been marvelous, but it has come and gone, we are here now and it’s time to make the most of the now, for one day we will be looking at the now with the same forlorn nostalgia as the past.
We may have imagined a different ending to our story, maybe even a different climax, but even those goals have come and gone.
We are left with what is.
And “what is” is quite a magnetic tapestry of joy and pain, happiness and grief, confusion and heartbreak, triumph and epiphany, meandering ruminations, and theoretical flourishes–a human life in book form.
Not quite poetry, not quite prose. A self-help guide by way of memoir, by way of writers handbook, by way of social media platform.
What I shared with you here, on Courage 2 Create, was what I was learning all along the way, and all along the way, I learned we are never the same person from one moment to the next–and our stories, never written in the same style from one day to the next.
Our lives are genre-less. It’s a cacophony of horror, mystery, romance, action, church hymn and adventure–with a little bit of comedy.
Our masterful plans are always subverted by a greater power.
That humbles our human ego.
(Surrender is as much part of our story than our proud humanity is apt to admit.)
Life is a constant play between doubt and certainty, winning and losing, love and fear, creating and co-creating.
Dreaming and then being hit by the reality of the true limits of dreaming.
Heroes battling villains (who sometimes redeem themselves and become heroes themselves.)
But we must, we must, make sense of it all–that’s part of being human. And part of making it all make sense is ending our stories.
We each go through phases of our lives, transformations, dramas, that fundamentally change who we are.
These phases end, as all stories do, and if we can’t make sense of the phase we cannot begin anew.
So I say: end your obsession with sequels and reboots and spin-offs. Have the courage to end a story whose time has come.
To paraphrase Hamilton: The Musical: “teach ’em how to say goodbye.”
Our goodbyes are just as necessary as our hellos. Because our goodbyes can teach us why our hellos were worth it to begin with.
Here We Go
There are six months left to this story. Will there be any more plot twists? More surprises? More last-minute obstacles the hero–ME–has to overcome?
Gosh I certainly hope not. I’m still dizzy from all the previous plot twists and obstacles.
I sure hope it’s a smooth ride to the finish line, a nice soft landing.
But who knows? I’ve learned to expect chaos without and only look for my peace within.
I’ve learned that no one will believe me if I don’t believe in myself.
I’ve learned that no one will trust me if I don’t trust in myself.
I’ve learned that no one will invest in me if I don’t invest in myself first.
I’ve learned that wisdom is more valuable than youth and beauty and sexiness has more to do with attitude than looks.
I’ve learned that there are really mean people out there but also really courageous, good ones, too.
But that the worst of all of them are the cowards. They don’t serve any purpose.
I never intended to learn any of this –these are all just the lessons I have learned on the journey and shared with you.
I’ve never been the only one writing this story: life always gets in the way, if you haven’t noticed.
I want to know how this story ends, just as you do, but that’s the thing with real life. We don’t get spoilers–we only get hints and clues.
All we have is the now moment, all we have are the words we use to express this moment, and all we have is the way we choose to tell our story.
Courage 2 Create was born during a tumultuous time for the world, and its now concluding underneath the shade of a different kind of tumult–but it is chaos just the same, and I cannot say that I think this is not a coincidence.
There’s only one way to survive the chaos, after all. You dive right in. Tap into your courage potential and follow the flow, it will take you where you need to go.
At the heart of this blog has always been the story of my struggle to be myself.
The struggle to be “me” is still as challenging today as it was back then, when the world seemed to be falling apart as much as it seems to be doing so today, and following the call of spirit in the midst of the voices of others who doubt me or who are leading me astray is just as impossible today as it was back then.
Maybe this ending is all about me realizing I never left my beginning: I was always playing at self-discovery, self-trust, and self-belief.
Maybe the elixir of my life is that ones identity is ones creation and that knowing this will keep you going no matter what happens to you.
Or perhaps my elixir is something else…?
Maybe “my elixir” is about healing.
I was always looking to heal my brokenness. Nearly 8 years ago, the answer was writing this novel. That’s how I chose to heal, how I chose to move forward and begin anew amid the wreckage of a sad past.
Now, the answer to who I am and why I am here may change drastically once more.
I hope that I can summon up the courage once more to trust my inner angel, and to go my own way.
And to hold my own.
And to know my name.
“Hello, My name is Ollin, and I’m a writer.”
“Hello, My name is Ollin, and I speak to Angels.”
“Hello, My name is Ollin, and I…”
Who knows who I’ll be tomorrow, and what I will do? And who will stand with me for the remainder?
But I do know, for certain, that I get to decide. I get to choose.
I get to write the ending to my old story, and I get to write the first chapter of my new one.
Six more months to go.
Six more months to weave my tale.
My dear reader: get out your popcorn and Twix, because what we both have learned about Courage 2 Create over the past seven and a half years is that my story never unfolds in the way that either of us ever expects.
There’s always life… pesky life… getting in the way of my perfectly crafted story structure: a good writers best laid plans foiled, yet again!
Oh dear lord. When will I ever learn?
Editors note: From today onward, NEW blog posts will be featured on Courage 2 Create on a weekly basis until the blogs final month, February 2018.
However, there will be a break during the month of December and first week of January for the holiday season, where there will be no new blog posts but also no blog post re-runs.
We will simply be taking a pause during that period: after the holiday pause, the final chapter of The C2C will begin its completion starting the second week of January 2018.